No, I am not pregnant. Unless it is with procrastination and the lack of determination to start up this Blog. Seriously, I remember the first time I decided to write one, I thought I had to have a theme or a mission. Once I realized that it was my playground and I could do as I wanted, Screaming Mommy Toy was born.
http://screamingmommytoy.blogspot.com/
It was really the beginning of the end of a life I was living but didn't know what was down the road for me. Yes, I still have that doll sitting by my bedside if you are wondering.
After that, starting a new blog was easy. Until now, when I was struck dumb by fear that even if I could pull something together design-wise I felt drained and I have had myself believing I had nothing left. Nothing new, nothing interesting and I also knew I am blogging again in a different climate. The Internet has had its own Climate Change, as it were.
The Blogging Community is not like it was, I don't believe. I look at it this way, Blogging was essays and stories of my (others) life, in which I would wax poetic ad nauseam. Then came Facebook (I never got into MySpace) which I resisted forever. At that time there was a status letter limit, something like 147 letters or something impossible. But sadly, I stuck with it and learned how to express myself less and meaning and content lost focus for me. Then, I started school and writing anything longer than "oh my god school is killing me" was too much brain power to waste. I played with Twitter a few times and found it to be two things at once. One, its an art form if you can actually say something in such a small space that means something or is clever and Two, it is the perfect way for people to ruin their careers. I don't care to do either one.
This last semester drained me more than any one before it. I decided to take the summer off, maybe pick up some work or just let go. I decided it would be a great time to use a blog to collect old writings that I want to include in a book I want to write. I also need a place to talk about some of the things that are eating me up inside that I cannot do with another person because sadly, I am single and have no confidant that I can roar my terrible roar and gnash my terrible teeth with, again ad nauseam, if that is what I choose.
I planned to start this project Saturday 17th. It is whatever it will become. I hate posting intentions because I fail miserably at complying but it might be funny to look back in August to see just how flaky I really am. Similar to New Years Resolutions I suppose, that I no longer do. For they are futile and boring and always the same. But here I go anyway, I want to write something everyday. I want to take one picture everyday. Yeah right.
So it begins, the summer experiment... notice, no picture!
