I am 5 Days Late....

No, I am not pregnant.  Unless it is with procrastination and the lack of determination to start up this Blog.   Seriously,   I remember the first time I decided to write one,  I thought I had to have a theme or a mission.   Once I realized that it was my playground  and I could do as I wanted,  Screaming Mommy Toy was born.

http://screamingmommytoy.blogspot.com/

It was really the beginning of the end of a life I was living but didn't know what was down the road for me.   Yes,  I still have that doll sitting  by my bedside if you are wondering.

After that, starting a new blog was easy.   Until now, when I was struck dumb by fear that even if I could pull something together design-wise I felt drained and I have had myself believing I had nothing left.   Nothing new,  nothing interesting and I also knew I am blogging again in a different climate.   The Internet has had its own Climate Change, as it were.

The Blogging Community is not like it was,  I don't believe.   I look at it this way,  Blogging was essays and stories of my (others) life,  in which I would wax poetic ad nauseam.   Then came Facebook (I never got into MySpace) which I resisted forever.  At that time there was a status letter limit,  something like 147 letters or something impossible.   But sadly, I stuck with it and learned how to express myself less and meaning and content lost focus for me.   Then,  I started school and writing anything longer than "oh my god school is killing me" was too much brain power to waste.    I played with Twitter a few times and found it to be two things at once.   One,  its an art form if you can actually say something in such a small space that means something or is clever and Two,  it is the perfect way for people to ruin their careers.   I don't care to do either one.

This last semester drained me more than any one before it.   I decided to take the summer off,  maybe pick up some work or just let go.   I decided it would be a great time to use a blog to collect old writings that I want to include in a book I want to write.   I also need a place to talk about some of the things that are eating me up inside that I cannot do with another person because sadly,  I am single and have no confidant that I can roar my terrible roar and gnash my terrible teeth with, again ad nauseam, if that is what I choose.

I planned to start this project Saturday 17th.  It is whatever it will become.  I hate posting intentions because I fail miserably at complying but it might be funny to look back in August to see just how flaky I really am.  Similar to New Years Resolutions I suppose, that I no longer do.  For they are futile and boring and always the same. But here I go anyway,  I want to write something everyday.   I want to take one picture everyday.   Yeah right.

So it begins,  the summer experiment... notice, no picture!